After eating my weight in potato salad this Memorial Day, I then partook in more gluttony with our favorite guilty pleasure: the Bachelorette. Episode 2 of Andi’s season is the first round of dates.
First individual date: “Eric the Explorer”. We already know from last week’s prelude that since filming the show, Eric has tragically passed away from a paragliding accident. Which means I would be a horrible person to say anything bad about him. Luckily, I don’t have anything bad to say. I found him to be cute and likeable and Andi seemed to have both comfort and chemistry with him. Explorer – is that a paying profession? Or does this mean he has a giant trust fund that allows him to do all this world traveling? I don’t know but I’m not going to hold it against him either way. An adventurous thrill-seeker is always hot to me, but I’ve also always known they are out of my league. I would never be enough for a man like that, constantly on the go looking to conquer the next big thing, because I like to chill too much. I can’t snow ski, or mountain climb or wear a bikini. “Explorers” are good at everything, and I am good at almost nothing. Luckily Andi is not me and she looks great in a bikini. However, she does have a pretty awesome career that requires her be there. Could they be a good match? We’ll see. Date grade: A. This date was perfectly geared toward Eric with snowboarding so it was fun instead of awkwardness. They look good together, actually had great conversations and seemed to have chemistry.
Group Date: “Bare our Balls, I mean Souls, Bare our Souls”
Is it just me, or does it seem a little early in the season/relationship to be in such a intimate situation as a public male strip tease and see thirteen of your potential suitors almost naked? I mean sure I see the benefits to it, but I also felt a little embarrassed for them all, and that it was degrading to men. Just as I would have felt a similar event with women on the Bachelor would be extremely degrading. BUT, that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the scenery. For the second time so far this season Andi admits she is extremely attracted to Marcus and picks him for a solo act. I do not disagree! Marcus is not as excited to strut himself as some of the others and seems a little shy, which scores him even higher points in my book. Cody is annoying (this seems right up his alley). Craig is annoying and oddly aware of Josh. Patrick has a butt-chin, which I kind of like, because he reminds me of Austin from Young & Restless, but not quite as cute. I think Bradley the Opera singer should pair up with Charlene from last season. Craig gets drunk and makes a fool of himself, no surprise, but I think Andi is a little over dramatic about it. She gives Marcus the group date rose, which I completely agree with. Did I mention there were firefighter strippers? Yum! It was not horrible. Could you imagine if you were to do this dating challenge in a real life dating pool though? There would be a lot more truffle shuffle and body hair. Qualified to be a stripped must have been one of the boxes to check on the Bachelorette application. And once again the media makes us drool for a type of man none of us could ever get in real life. (because most of them are dating each other)
Date #3 – Country Chris. Chris is the farmer from Iowa. He seems very nice and is good looking, but I just don’t foresee him making it to the top 4, and I don’t see Andi living on a farm in Iowa. The date is to the horse races, with a personal concert afterward. I give the date a grade of C+ because it went fine, but was nothing spectacular. She looks like she is feeling good about the fact that he is a nice guy but I don’t think she is falling in love or lust with him. She does kiss him however, and did I miss her kissing Eric or is this her first? I predict Chris will be friend-zoned.
Rose Ceremony: Andi enters in a fancy low cut gown, Josh’s eyes are on her boobs, Craig’s hand is on Josh’s shoulder. Hmmm. Also, it says Craig is a tax accountant. I know many accountants, none of which are that outgoing or goofy. I’m pretty sure he is lying about his occupation (just kidding). A thought about Tasos…are there really straight men that are wedding planners? If so, why? If not, I’m pretty sure he is lying about his sexuality (just kidding). But not kidding that Brett is on the verge of a mullet, and Nick V. is nice but Nick S. is creepy, so their last initials are very important. Nick V. asks Andi what she is looking for in a man and she says she doesn’t know. WTF? I think women say that only when they know the man that is asking doesn’t fit the profile. Not only should she have made a list for the show, but if she’s like most girls, she’s had a list since 8th grade that has been edited many times over. I agree with Andi tossing Craig & Nick S out, but I would have kept the glasses guy over the Opera guy. Glasses guy was Carl the firefighter who has a slight Ryan Gosling factor going on. Bummed he is gone already. So far my watch list consists of (in no particular order) Brian, Marquel, Eric, Marcus & maybe Dylan (looks wise I’m interested but haven’t seen his personality yet). What are you guys thinking? Until next week…