red, white & BLUE

I have been depressed on every 4th of July of my adult life. Independence Day in America is supposed to be outdoor fun with friends, BBQ’s, picnics, parades, water-skiing, camping, fireworks, whatever. And it used to be like that my whole childhood. But somewhere in my twenties, probably after I married an antisocial man, I stopped being invited to parties. I stopped hosting parties. Then I had kids and was fine staying home with them. It also seems like every July we were tight on money so we couldn’t really plan anything big or exciting for an Independence day celebration. But no matter how “ok”” I was with not having plans on July 3rd, by the next day I would feel so down and blue that we were the only ones not doing something fun. My husband and I would light off fireworks at home for our kids and/or take them to the city fireworks display in town. But always just us, never an extended group of friends or family. I missed being around a group.

A few years ago we were watching the local fireworks when tears started running down my cheeks. I was thinking of my Dad. My Dad loved fireworks! He loved the big booms. He would laugh and cheer. My dad died in 2007. That night that I was crying during the grand finale, I could hear his laughter in my mind and could picture what he would be saying if he was there. It was happy memories but made me miss him so much. I was so sad my kids never got to experience fireworks with my Dad. Every year since, I have that same feeling watching the fireworks.

This year I wasn’t going to be feeling sorry for myself. This year I booked something fun for us. We didn’t have any summer camp or child care costs this year and since we had a four day weekend, I booked us a vacation rental cabin in the mountains. We had a great relaxing family weekend. We were even able to meet up with friends for fun in the river. However, we did actually come home on the morning of the 4th since we had to work the next day. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately, but all was mostly ok for the first time in a long time. And then it happened. I saw my picture posted on Facebook, for all to see: fat me in a swimsuit from a bad angle, Fat me’s leg cellulite, Fat me looking fatter than I’ve ever looked or felt before. And there it was; depression set in instantly. I was so down on myself the rest of the day, I didn’t even go watch the fireworks that night, just stayed inside comforting the dogs.

So I guess the moral of the story is, I am going to be blue on America’s carefree fun day, every year, no matter what I do. Maybe the sooner I accept it, the easier it will be. Maybe I’ll never again be part of a beach party at a lake house. Maybe I’ll never be surrounded by excitement again. Maybe that is just what happens with old age and a boring marriage. Maybe I’m not the only one with holiday plan envy. Shout out if you share in my mid-summer misery. At least we should feel better by next week.


Diagnosis & Treatment: My Story of EE

I have a medical condition that I cannot pronounce or spell. I was diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EE) back in 2008/2009. I never had any issues getting food stuck in my throat as a child, the symptoms had only begun in my thirties. I had a few incidents of meat or bread getting stuck in my throat. When this happens I cannot make myself throw it back up no matter how hard I try. I’m not choking, I can still breathe, but I cannot even swallow my own spit and so any liquid I try to wash it down with, and my saliva, come back up every couple minutes. I have to keep trying to wash it down with water or sit and wait for it to finally slide down. It can be very painful and it can also be extremely embarrassing, especially when it happens at a restaurant. It could take anywhere from 5 minutes to 45 minutes to get the issue resolved.

I finally went to a doctor after I had a Mucinex pill get stuck in my throat. The pill ended up dissolving in my throat, burning it. So I went to an ear/nose/throat specialist who sent me for imaging thinking there was some kind of “ledge or web” in my throat stuff was getting caught on. They didn’t see anything wrong with my throat in the initial x-rays. Since I seemed to have the most trouble when swallowing pills, they gave me a placebo pill and sure enough, it immediately stuck. They were then able to see where the problem was. They referred me to the Digestive Health Clinic, where that Doctor told me it was EE. I still don’t fully understand what causes it, but it is most likely caused by or related to allergies. Definition: Eosinophilic esophagitis is a chronic immune system disease in which a type of white blood cell (eosinophil) builds up in the lining of the tube that connects your mouth to your stomach (esophagus). This buildup, which is a reaction to foods, allergens or acid reflux, can inflame or injure the esophageal tissue. Damaged esophageal tissue can lead to difficulty swallowing or cause food to get caught when swallowing. It has been identified only in the past two decades, but is now considered a major cause of gastrointestinal illness. At first I thought I was a rare weird one, but I am now finding out more people have this issue than I ever imagined.

The treatment for EE is to have an esophageal dilation. When I had this done the doctor told me the inside of my esophagus was only as big around as an ink pen before he was able to stretch it. Not much can fit down a tunnel that small. The gastro doctor then prescribes a heartburn/reflux medication such as pantoprazole or omeprazole to take for the REST OF YOUR LIFE. Even if you don’t suffer from heartburn or acid reflux. He also prescribed a steroid inhaler (Flovent) to be swallowed into the mouth/throat, rather than inhaled, believing the steroids can help the inflammation in the throat. The dilation is not a one-time cure and is typically needed every 10 years.

I just had my second esophageal dilation. Yep, that is only about seven years after my first, not ten. Things were pretty good for the first couple years after dilation but then I started having problems swallowing food and pills again and the frequency has greatly increased over the last couple years. I felt the pantoprazole I was taking wasn’t working and after seeing a news story linking long term usage of heartburn medications to early dementia, I decided to stop taking it. (I’m already losing my mind, I don’t need help in that area). About six months later I couldn’t take it anymore and went back for another dilation (June 30, 2016). The good news is the doctor said it was not as bad as the first time. The bad news is that the nurse and doctor both told me EE problems can lead to esophageal cancer in the future and that is why its so important to take the prescribed medication. Crap! LIGHT BULB MOMENT! I cannot even imaging how horrible it would be to have throat cancer. How could you eat? Eating is my favorite! Cancer in by food-hole would be the worst punishment for me. Taking away my lady parts would be better than taking away my ability to eat. Ugh! This scared me enough to be a very good patient from now on and take my medicine. Which he actually gave me omeprazole this time and upped my dosage. And he is sending me to a food allergist to see if there is something I am eating that could be making it worse. I am interested to see what we find out at the allergist. Luckily I am at the age where I am taking my health more seriously and will make sacrifices in my diet to live longer and prevent disease. I will be willing to give up some foods, hopefully nothing I love too much. I guess we shall see.

In the meantime I feel like I should start petitioning drug & supplement companies to make their pills smaller. Why do they have to be so freaking huge? It is ridiculous. I’d rather have to take 3 of something and have it be smaller than take one huge pill. If they can make a tiny birth control pill why can’t they make some of these others smaller? I will not be able to take these herbal supplements ever again unless I grind them up. The capsules in the middle are the largest size I can take without issues. As more people are diagnosed with EE I think we should rise up together and make these companies change their ways. Who’s with me?


The Castaway Plan

I have always wanted to go to Positive Changes and get hypnotized to love eating healthy and exercising. I wanted to hypnotize away my love of yummy food. I felt like that is the only way I could ever stop eating the foods I love that are so bad for me (chocolate, pizza, ice cream, creamy pasta dishes, cheese, breadsticks – take your pick). But lately I have kind of been starting to change my thinking on my own. Unfortunately it hasn’t taken complete hold yet, but when I stop and think about it this is what comes to mind… To have the health and body that I want to have, I should eat as if I am stranded on an uninhabited island.

Now let me clarify – I don’t mean to starve myself into anorexia. But as I am trying to think of food as fuel versus my favorite hobby, it brings to mind the survivor type shows my family watches. Survivor, Survivorman, The Island, Dude You’re Screwed, Ultimate Alaska Survival, Naked & Afraid, Alone – to name a few. We LOVE our wilderness survival shows in our house. Often on these shows they struggle to find food, and without food they have no energy to build shelter, gather fire wood or walk themselves to civilization. I remember on one episode – I think it was Naked Castaway – the guy was finding small snails or limpets of some kind on a rock, eating them and saying how many calories were in each one (something ridiculously small like 15 calories) and how many he would have to eat to get enough nutrition. On the show Alone, the men were almost starving on rainy days they could not get out and find food. Catching a fish was the highlight of their stay and kept them strong for another day. One guy was busting his balls trying to catch a moose to eat. A moose! Like who would that fill up? Starving people, that is who. So when I want to graze out of boredom or gobble up some deliciousness for the fun of it, instead I need to think about how if I was on that island, and I’d had a banana for breakfast, a citrus & beet salad for lunch, and a chicken & shrimp skewer for dinner, that would totally be enough to keep me surviving and moving. I don’t have to eat three slices of pizza to survive. If I was stranded on an island there would be no pizza, I would be happy to find snails and a coconut. (yuck) But you get the drift. I don’t want to starve myself, and I don’t want to eat like I’m poor circa Hunger Games. I just want to retrain my body to become more realistic on what it actually needs to survive and function. I have let my food cravings dictate my life for far too long. Now my body needs to use fat stores for energy. And replacing junk food with nutrient rich foods makes me feel great after eating instead of tired and bloated. When I do “cheat” I need to eat smaller portions because I am not climbing trees, chopping logs, or hiking across glaciers to burn enough calories to justify eating like a lumber jack or a navy seal. I sit at a desk for most of the day. Instead of feeling deprived when I can’t have French Fries, and am getting sick of sweet potatoes and chicken, I need to remember if I was stranded on an island I would be ecstatic to have sweet potatoes or chicken, its more than most of those “survivors” get in a day. Give me some salmon, squash and an apple and I should be good. No one needs Ding Dongs or Cool Ranch Doritos to survive. I wonder how many chemicals are in that cool ranch powder flavoring anyway?

In America we have so many choices in food and drinks; we are used to it all at our finger tips. (And the commercials – damn you Olive Garden!) But if you really look next time you are at Grocery store, it is REDICULOUS! We have a hundred different kinds of breakfast cereal. We have three or more brand names of every sauce or condiment there is, plus an original and fat free version of each. We have thirteen different flavors of Ranch dressing. And the number of different flavors and brands of potato chips is out of this world. How many brands and styles of every stupid thing is there? Juices, Pop or Beer – don’t get me started. But if I was surviving in nature (where none of those foods exist because those are all contrived with chemicals in labs and factories) I would have basic choices of meats and vegetables and need to make my meals from those. I am learning to bring vegetables of all kinds into my daily menu and it feels good. The Whole30 program started me on this course and now it is my responsibility to keep going, to keep making good choices, and to retrain my brain myself, without being hypnotized.

Stumbling Along, the Journey Continues

I haven’t blogged since my thirty days of the Whole30 ended, eleven days ago. January was a success for me – I stayed true to the Whole30 program and ended up losing 15 pounds and two inches off my waist. I was so happy with the results and it was enough incentive for me to continue to eat healthy and use what I’ve learned. However, since then I have had a number of ups and downs. I was very tired the last week of the program and was looking forward to adding a few foods back into my menu. But then when the day finally got here I was almost afraid to have anything non-compliant and still have not had some of the things I was craving. I did pretty good the first five days, having one piece of bread one night or using store bought spaghetti sauce over my spaghetti squash instead of the homemade sauce another, but mostly ate the same natural foods and was able to stay the same weight…until Friday. Friday was the first day I had something really bad – a cupcake at the office SuperBowl potluck. Saturday was half good, half naughty and Sunday was a strait out sinful day full of simple carbs. I never want to eat Velveeta cheese dip again. Ever! I felt so sick. I was over-stuffed (a feeling I hadn’t had in over a month) and miserable. I felt so down on myself, so much guilt. The good news is, I feel like I learned a valuable lesson. I don’t like how I feel on bad-for-me, “food with no brakes” foods. I need, want and crave the healthy fuel that gives me good energy and makes me feel proud of myself.

So I am back on the plan with alterations. I have gone from about 900 calories a day to 1200. I am allowing myself tortillas and black beans. I will allow myself restaurant vinaigrette and feta cheese on my salad. Since I didn’t really have any health issues or stomach issues when I started the Whole30 (just no energy, bloated and sugar addiction) I feel like I can add these items back into my life in moderation. Most other things I can live without. I might have a treat now and then but I am going to try to limit them as much as possible. I even went through the Dairy Queen drive-thru for the kid this afternoon without getting myself anything or tackling him for a bite of his ice cream. I stayed strong and the more often I do that, the easier it gets. I will not be perfect, and that will be fine as long as I do my best and continue to keep the fat off. I say fat versus weight because I do plan on building muscle and cannot be fixated on what the scale says, but need to go by my body composition, energy and the waistband of my pants. Have you done the Whole30 before? If so, how did you feel once it was over and what did you incorporate back in?

Whole 30: Day 25 – Nothing sounds good.

Hello. A few days have gone by since I last posted on my Whole 30 journey. Last week (week 3) – was a mix of so boring there’s nothing to say to so cranky it would be a twenty minute negative rant. I spared you most of that. You’re welcome. I am now on Day 25 and I am so close! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m starting to secretly plan my reintroduction phase, or at least contemplate different things I might try, and look forward to having my weekends back.

The Whole 30 Program provides us (in book or online) a general timeline of what we will most likely experience during the 30 days based off millions of experiences over the years. Some of it has been spot on for me and some of it I have been way off course. For example, week 1 is typically when you are tired with no energy and your “Tiger’s Blood” energetic phase is supposed to come around days 16-27. Not for me. I felt GREAT for most of those first two weeks, more energy than now. I think a lot of it was a more positive attitude. Week 3 through today I have had off and on days of “OMG this fresh pear is so delicious, this salad is awesome” to “Nothing sounds good. I don’t even want to eat”. I really think it is my natural (Aries) tendency to get bored with things quickly. I’ve eaten pounds upon pounds of ground turkey and sweet potatoes this month (I do love it) and have tried to mix it up with recipes from the book or Pinterest, but have only had about a 50% success rate with those. And when they don’t turn out well, it wastes a lot of ingredients, time and energy. I actually do best when I leave it simple such as grilled lean steak with steamed broccoli, or cedar plank salmon with asparagus. Nothing too crazy. I was in the kitchen on my feet for 9 freaking hours on Saturday. NINE! (With one break to run to the store for stuff I forgot). I don’t even work that hard at work. I was physically and mentally exhausted by evening and hadn’t done a lick of housework to show for it. Food prep was fun the first hour as I started my soups, but the later the day got and I still wasn’t done with dinners, the more resentful I felt. My success of the day was Cabbage Soup – I thought it was delicious and I have enough for 5 more meals. Failure of the day: Roasted Red Pepper & Cauliflower Soup – I must have missed something because mine is not liquid enough to be considered soup. It is more like pumpkin baby food. And I have 5 days’ worth to throw away.

I survived the food dreams and cravings just fine, surprisingly, but I am definitely in the “Interlude: I am so over this” stage (Day 21). Good news is I am not having cravings or tempted to cheat. Bad news is, I just don’t even care about eating. Nothing sounds good. I’ll just sit here until my stomach starts to eat itself. I’d rather take a nap. I could really use a nap. Nope, better get up and make myself something to eat again. But the good news is I only have five more days to go until I have free will in the kitchen again. I can tell this month has been great for my body, weight, health, and cooking habits, not to mention a huge sense of satisfaction and achievement for being able to stick to it. I know I will walk away with better habits and be more conscience about what I put into my body. But I also know myself well enough to know I cannot live within this strict of parameters and could not last like this long term. I do still plan on eating a mostly Paleo diet with a few well deserved cheats here or there. And I should still have enough left over ingredients to continue to use the healthy foods and oils in my cooking – it just probably won’t involve hours of making homemade mayonnaise, ketchup and dressings. If you’re doing the Whole 30 too, stick with it. If you on contemplating doing it, DO IT! Overall, it isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. If I can do this, anyone can. Even when I sound negative about it, that is just the lack of carbs talking, I know it is working wonders.


I Want A Donut!

I want a fucking donut! Not because I actually want to eat that sugary fried happiness, but because I am so tired of cooking. A toasted low-fat whole wheat waffle with peanut butter takes 2 minutes and is only 165 calories. A bowl of instant oatmeal only takes a minute, and my favorite Greek Yogurt is already in the fridge. Running to the store for a donut would take ten minutes roundtrip. But I can’t have any of those things. There is nothing quick and easy about this Whole30 eating plan. I’ve spent hours in the kitchen dicing vegetables, steaming, baking, chopping, peeling, dicing more vegetables. I’ve dirtied so many dishes, knives, choppers – my dirty dishes volume has tripled. And that is a chore I already hate with passion.

So am I happy today? Obviously not. After doing the rest of the dishes from last night, chopping, and then cooking the spinach frittata, I finally got to eat breakfast at 11am. I’ve spent more time on my feet in the kitchen the last week alone than I normally do in a month. I’m worn out and cranky. As soon as I get one meal’s mess cleaned up its time to make the next one. Make that two meals – a healthy meal for me and a normal meal the family will eat. I want someone else to cook and clean. I want it to be easier to eat healthy. Let’s get a drive-thru fast food place that is all Paleo and whole30 meals pre-prepped. Or a pizza place that delivers “Mom’s salad & Whole30 approved dressing” with the kids’ large pepperoni. Well, I only have thirteen and a half days left so I guess I can put up with being the kitchen bitch for two more weeks if it means I lose another five pounds. But that won’t stop me from complaining and daydreaming of donuts.


Year of Katy

In one of my favorite sitcoms, The Middle, the forever optimistic Sue Heck says “this is the year of Sue!” Well I feel like 2016 will be the year of Katy. Not necessarily career-wise, but on a personal level. I am starting 2016 with a huge desire to spend this year proving to myself that I can do things I thought I could never do before. A year of challenges and pushing myself and bettering myself. I’m one of those people who hate leaving my comfort zone, and yet I always know that when I do, I become better, I learn more, I always gain something, whether a new skill or just an embarrassing life lesson. I feel inspired and hope to see it through.

I will be turning forty this year and I have to admit, I have lived it pretty safe so far. I have wanted my stable family, career and household, and I got it. I planned everything in the beginning, then just survived day to day, my weekly routine pretty much on autopilot. On the surface, I love a weekend full of Netflix and chill. But I have also been so bored on the inside. No changes in scenery, company, house, car or man. I’m about as predictably stable as you can get. But even though I wanted a safe life, I also wanted adventure and lots of fun times. I wanted a more active family than the one I have created. We are all couch potatoes; the husband with his TV, the boys with their video games, me with my books or TV or Twitter. I always have good intentions of being outdoorsy like I was growing up, but in the day to day routine I just don’t force it. Most days I am too exhausted and it would just be so much work to so whatever it is I am contemplating.  “Once it is done raining this spring I’d like to go hiking,” I say. “Ugh, it’s too hot to go hiking when it’s a hundred degrees, let’s go this fall when it cools off,” I say. And of course my ever present regret that my husband is not taking my boys out teaching them how to fish, camp or hunt like we both always thought he would. He was outdoorsy when we got together too. He’s still outdoorsy – that one or two times a year we go to the mountains. The rest of time he is in the same trap as me – married to the TV and the exhaustion of a full work week.

Well, I don’t want to be so complacent any more. I want more adventure and more wonderful memories with my boys before they are all grown up. And I finally believe I have the power to make a change in myself. I find it really difficult to change my personality, but I can change my actions. I can move. I can get fit. I can push myself more than I have ever pushed myself before. This is what I want to do with my 2016. And just maybe by conquering more, doing more, feeling better –  just maybe it will change part of my personality for the better too.


“I Can Do It!”  Photo via Amazon, I claim no rights to this photo.

So here are my goals for the 2016 Year of Katy:

Year-long resolutions:

  1. Change my eating habits, eat healthy, get fit, make my body the healthiest, strongest, happiest it has been.
  2. When I see something that needs done (picked up/cleaned/fixed), do it right then versus putting it off, noticing it every time I walk by, and then having guilt & unresolved clutter in my life from all the things not done (picked up/cleaned/fixed).

Baby steps & monthlies – starting a new side-resolution each month to build on:

  1. January:
    • Open my mail daily, tossing the junk, don’t let it stack up and build clutter.
    • Join the Gym, use the treadmills 3 times a week.
  2. February:
    • Get back to doing my morning workout DVD’s 4-6 days a week.
    • Hire a housekeeper.
  3. March:
    • Learn how to run!
    • Do something fun for kids over Spring Break
  4. April:
    • Turn 40 without getting depressed – have a big fun party with my friends.
  5. May:
    • Run in 5K race with my friends.
  6. June:
    • Clean out that horrible hoarder garage.
    • Take a beautiful day-long hike in the mountains!
  7. July:
    • Keep up with yard work even when it is “too hot”.
    • House hunt.

This is as far as I’m going now because after that, everything will depend on if we sell our house and move or not. (I really want a new house). But you get the idea. I want a lot to happen this year. I need a lot of good changes in my life. I will make it the year of Katy! Hopefully Katy will surprise us all in good ways.

Sweet Potato Hash

I’m at the end of my first week of the Whole30 and still learning lessons the hard way every day. I’m part of a Facebook challenge group that will be starting The Whole30 on Monday so I thought I would share my biggest success of week 1. This recipe below is my favorite so far. I made a big batch on Saturday for lunch and boxed up the leftovers to use throughout the week. I had it for breakfast on Sunday, and lunches on Wednesday and Friday, so it worked marvelously. Sometimes left-overs are gross, but this dish warmed up nicely and was as good day five as it was day one. I feel the perfect amount of full after I eat this, with good energy. The original recipe came from the book It Starts with Food Recipes by Laura Hill, but I altered a little to my tastes and what spices I had in my cupboard (hers is for 2 servings, mine made 5-6 servings, so the below is paraphrasing with my own tweaks.

 Sweet Potato Hash


  • 1 – 1 ½ lb. Ground Turkey
  • 1 TBSP Coconut Oil
  • 2 garlic cloves, diced/minced
  • ½ Red Pepper chopped/diced
  • ½ cup White Onion, chopped
  • Sweet Potatoes (I used 5 small ones, if using large ones from grocery store, probably need 2-3 depending on size)
  • 1 tsp Italian Seasonings (McCormick Perfect Pinch is what I used, already had in cupboard but can use any or all of these herbs: thyme, oregano and basil)
  • 1 tsp Dried Rosemary
  • 1 tsp black pepper
  • 4 Organic Eggs (optional*)

Quarter & boil sweet potatoes for a few minutes depending on their size to soften (like you do for potatoes in a potato salad, not to mash-able softness), dice them into cubes.

 Pour Coconut oil into a skillet on medium heat. Crumble ground turkey into pan. Add diced onions, garlic & red pepper. Add diced sweet potatoes. Sauté until turkey is cooked and sweet potatoes are right tenderness.  Add scrambled eggs*, pepper, and serve.

*The original recipe called for eggs in it, however I wasn’t sure I was going to like that so I scrambled my eggs separately on the side and added it to half of the final product later so I had a choice between with and without eggs – I liked it both ways, but it was nice to have the variety.  Use 1 TBSP coconut oil when scrambling eggs. 



Meal planning is a Bitch

Continuation of Whole30 Journal…

Day 7

I was pleasantly surprised it took this long, but night 7 I am finally sick of my Whole30/Paleo meals and wish I could eat something else. A toasted English muffin sounds good. I think I have hit this “bad meal attitude” today because I am at the end of my premade meals. I have one serving of sweet potato hash left but I’ve already eaten that 3 times this week. I have one serving of Paleo Spaghetti left but I had that for lunch earlier today. It is Thursday night and I think that after cooking at home for six out of the last seven nights, it is just that night of the week where we would normally come home too tired to cook and order pizza. But since I cannot order pizza, or any other kind of shortcut, I am stuck with “nothing sounds good”. I made left over pork burritos for the boys and I snacked on imitation lobster and cooked carrots – just two random things I had in the fridge. It was not emotionally satisfying but it filled me up so I have nothing to complain about. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill.  I felt a little light headed at the end, the low amount of calories might be starting to get to me, or maybe its because I went off and left my water bottle on the counter at home, but after 24oz of ice water and some beef jerky, I feel good again.

Has any Whole30 alumni out there also experienced a bad day around day 7 or so? It probably doesn’t help that Thursdays are normally my most tired day of the week – after getting up early all week, working all week, the body is dragging and the laundry is stacking up; you just want the weekend to get here. Friday is always better because even though you are still tired, you get an energy/attitude boost because, duh, it’s Friday.

Day 8

I’m sick of water. I was already drinking a lot of water before I started this program but I would also have chocolate milk or cranberry juice or lemonade when I wanted it. Now, my only option is water. And green tea, which I have been drinking every morning. I’m not drinking Spark because it has sucralose in it. But at lunch time today I am craving a giant glass of cold milk. Don’t worry I didn’t cheat and still don’t plan to either. Instead, I planned out the next 7 days of meals so I have something to look forward to and can stop by the store for the 18,000 vegetables I need. Here’s what my next few dinners will look like:

  1. Vietnamese Chicken Cabbage Salad (Pinterest)
  2. Mexican Tuna Boats (Whole30 Cookbook)
  3. Grilled Chili Lime Chicken Fajita Salad (Pinterest)
  4. Asian Zucchini Shrimp Stir-fry (Pinterest)
  5. Melissa’s Chicken Hash (Whole30 Cookbook)
  6. Salmon w/ side of Beet & Spinach Salad (salad from Shape Magazine)
  7. Grilled Chicken Breasts w/ Asparagus or Broccoli

Will my whole family eat these? No. My husband has been trying my meals but also still eating his regular food and bad snacks. My boys won’t try most of this except the shrimp and chicken. So I am still making two sets of meals all the time. This is where single people or people without kids have an advantage. For the rest of us I guess we just grin and bare it because I can’t use my family as an excuse for me to be fat anymore. Eventually it’ll rub off on them.

I may sound a little negative today but it’s all good still and the best news is I get to weigh in again tomorrow so hopefully that will give me another boost of excitement. If not, I know for sure that spending time with my friends will. Happy Friday everyone!


Obsessed with Progress

My journey on the Whole30 continues and yes, I am going to continue to bore you with every detail. Well, not all the details, I will try to never mention my poop – that is an old person thing and since I am 39 for only a few more months I am going to pretend that I am young.

It may just be me, but it seems like the only way I can succeed at the health and fitness thing is if I completely obsess about it. It has to be all or nothing. As much as I do love to half-ass things, eating right half of the time did not make me lose any weight. For the last six months I have actually been at my highest weight ever. (Tied with my final pregnancy weight on the two days I gave birth…TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING COMING OUT OF MY BODY. So right now I pretty much weigh the same as one and a half of me. Katy+1) Anyway, back to my addictive personality…if I cannot be addicted to Coke-Cola, chocolate and bacon cheese burgers than I have to be addicted to exercise and nutrition. Which may be one of the reasons it took me so long to commit to the healthy life style – I didn’t want to be that annoying un-fun friend that can’t go to lunch or have a drink, won’t share your nachos, or orders a dish but “with no cheese, no ham, hold the croutons, dressing on the side and substitute the white onions with red onions”, or whatever ridiculous requests that make waitresses roll their eyes and possibly spit in your food. I had it so ingrained in my brain that food is fun and fun is food. I think I liked being with other people who loved to eat as much as me because it made me feel more comfortable about myself. Little did I realize everyone else has already switched over to smart eating and I’m the only one still diving into Alfredo sauce with reckless abandon. My BFF always orders a salad and I never see her filling her food hole with countless chips or crackers. Sure she has a brownie every now and then but she also runs umpteen miles in a day so a moment on her lips never appears on her hips. Yep, it is definitely time for me to change and it is OK. As long as I can like myself without eating my emotions and all the delicious fattening foods, I’m sure others probably can too. (As long as they are not reading this blog right now, right?) By the way, the first two months I didn’t have soda I had no personality; I was a walking zombie.

Luckily I am not a zombie on the Whole30 though. I feel GREAT! Yesterday (day 5) I did 48 minutes of “hills” on the treadmill (until my butt cheeks literally hurt). And today (day 6) I weighed myself again. I have lost 5.5 pounds since Christmas, 4.5 since I started the Whole30 and the Advocare 10-day Cleanse on January 1st. That makes me so HAPPY! Just being able to see results quickly helps keep my morale up so I can stay committed to it. I am still sticking to my approved meals and even though I have only been eating around 800-900 calories a day (I know, that’s too low, it’s not on purpose) I have great energy. I don’t feel deprived, hungry or slothish. The only reason my calories are so low is just that I am only eating natural foods and with no carbs other than vegetables and fruits, and no dairy, there aren’t a lot of calories in the food I am eating. I am getting better nutrition than I ever have. So I am not worrying about that. I have enough fat reserves on this body to last a month on Naked And Afraid. Which brings me to my goal – my goal is lose 25 pounds by June. Twenty-five pounds lighter will not make me thin or give me a bikini body (which I haven’t had since I was 18), but it will make me healthy and strong, and fitting into my cute pants again.

I am hoping that once all my eating habits are changed, my body doesn’t crave the artificial things anymore and my weight is under control that I won’t need to obsess about it as much and can relax into good habits. I just won’t be there for a while yet. So, sorry friends, I will be the one ordering the “grass-fed buffalo, organic sweet potatoes, no butter, dressing on the side…” etc. from now on. And I love you and thank you for your support.

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