Bachelorette -D2 – The Right Reasons Rappers

Why has it taken me all week to get up my weekly reflection on the Bachelorette? Well I was hoping the negative reaction I was having to Monday’s show could be blamed on a grumpy mood and lack of sleep. However, after giving it a couple of days and watching the show again, my feelings didn’t change. So here it goes. Before this season started I really liked Desiree. My opinion of her was that she was genuine, likeable, intelligent, athletic, fun, strong, and emotionally level-headed. But for some reason, all of episode 2, she seems really fake to me. I have the feeling that she is really caught up in the excitement of the show, LA, the fancy cars, mansions and over-the-top dates. Who can blame her? That stuff is exciting and overwhelming for those of us who are less fortunate and I can only imagine between the lifestyle and the hot guys hanging on your every word that you would feel like a kid on Christmas morning. And so maybe the fakey vibe I’m getting is just her excitement being more about the experience than the men?? I don’t know. I just felt she was using her kindergarten teacher voice on the dates and it felt fake and a little forced. Or maybe it’s just me being a tired, grumpy, cynic.  Also I don’t like it when they fake surprise – the men don’t know what is going to happen on the date but the Bachelorette does and I think the faking ignorance is irritating – like me acting surprised when my kids tell me they got two dollars from the Tooth Fairy. Necessary for seven-year olds, not for grown men.

 The 1st one-on-one date of the season went to Brooks, Mr. Wavy hair & smile. He is very nice to look at, and proved to be a fun date. Con #1: the already over-done bridal salon date. Let’s take two people who have barely met and force them to dress as if they are getting married tonight, nothing awkward about that. Bachelor producers, please! Can we take this theme out of the rotation now? Just like with American Idol using the same theme nights after 12 seasons, I am equally bored of the Bachelor Franchise using the same date ideas every season. The wedding photos, the dinner in a closed off public location (this case middle of a bridge), and most staged of all dancing to a private concert.  But date choice is not Brook’s fault and he does well yakking it up in a bright green leprechaun suit, which is Pro #1: silly side. Con #2: they hiked to the Hollywood sign in a freaking wedding gown and tux. Yeah, that screams reality. Pro #2: conversation went well. Pro #3: Did I mention how good-looking Brooks is? Con #3: My cynic side is annoyed when Brooks talks about his feels. I have a hard time believing that it is real too. Probably more to do with being married to a man who NEVER talks about his feelings for twelve years than actually to do with Brooks. Good thing I’m not in the dating world because I’d probably never again believe a word out of a man’s mouth. I’ve already seen the wizard behind the curtain.

Group Date: Rapping “Right Reasons” under direction of actual rapper Soulja Boy. The worst white boy rhymes ever, and easily the most humiliating date of all time. I’m glad they had fun with it but if I was the Bachelorette I wouldn’t even want to put them through that. And WTH, the only black guy can’t dance? Bummer. I would have really liked to see more of Will. They drew a few comparisons of this seasons men to some of the seasons past and I couldn’t help but think of “Guard & Protect Your Heart” Kasey every time I saw Brandon after that. If he ends up leaving soon, it will be because of that comparison. Please don’t be that guy. James was a constant comic relief (or pain in the ass heckler depending on how you look at it). Side note: I wonder how bad the bachelor pad house smells. I mean just because these are all well manscaped, waxed men doesn’t mean they aren’t still farting, pooping, stinking men like the ones we’re married too. Just less hair on the bathroom floor.

 2nd One-on-One Date – Road trip with Bryden. Pro# 1: Now this date I liked! This is totally what I would have enjoyed and a great way to get to know someone and not just have it be about the glitz. Pro #2: Bryden was sweet and the right amount of shy and fun. I’m sticking with my first impression of liking him. I liked that he admitted that he wasn’t ready for a relationship before and used the military as an excuse not to have one, now he’s ready. I felt it was pretty genuine. I cannot tell if Des is into him or just thinks he’s nice and is telling all the guys how much fun she’s having. Con 31: During their end of night dip in the pool, Des tries easing the awkward tension of Bryden’s nervous stalling before their first kiss by saying “just kiss me already” I go back and forth between thinking it was cute, and being turned off by it. I just felt like he’s a shy traditional guy and being that aggressive could have turned him off or made me felt emasculated. I’ve learned through personal experience that sometimes guys don’t want those moments taken away from them, they want to feel that they’re in charge. And I just felt like that was not really the sweet first kiss moment you want to look back on. There was obviously an uncomfortable lull in the conversation before she said that, but, I don’t know just didn’t feel right to me. I really like Bryden, but I have a feeling she is going to end up being too forward and aggressive for him, or him to reserved for her, however you want to look at it. Also she seems very ready to kiss all the guys. Nothing wrong with that necessarily, just none of them have felt special yet.

 Reception night:  Pro #1: Zak W. (aka shirtless guy) surprised Des with an antique journal with a message from a father to his daughter written on the inside cover. I actually really thought that was a thoughtful and special gift. I would have been impressed and I think she was too. She may not be into him romantically but that was a very good effort and showed some depth on his side. Con #1: Boy drama – oh brother – this is the whiniest bunch of boys we’ve had on here to date. I don’t think Ben was as bad as the previews made him look. Yes they all feel competitive with him because they can tell he’s “in the lead” but he doesn’t seem intentional about it like Bentley or Tierra. When approached by the other guys about his rude ‘cutting-in’ I thought he handled himself like a gentleman. The nice-guy thing would be not to interrupt people when you already have a rose, but at least afterwards he wasn’t all “I’m not here to be your friend” “I’ll do what I want”. He was still respectful in word, even if not in action. So I will wait and see what happens before I decide if he is the evil one to hate this season or if the other guys are just jealous. Con #2: Michael needs to learn how to tell a story faster anyway. I mean why do they always have to start a story out with “well it all started with a phone call…(add drama & suspense) instead of just saying …”I have diabetes.” Come on, make a long story short people you know you could be interrupted at any second, and whoops you were. Pro #2: I LOVE Desiree’s green gown, so beautiful.  Pro/Con?: Brandon shares his story of a tough childhood with Des and she appreciates it but is she into him? I can see him possibly getting labeled as the “too emotional/insecure one”.

At the Rose Ceremony Des sends home Will (No!), Nick (No!) and Robert (aka Caterpillar-brow). I thought Will and Nick were two of the hotter guys and certainly would have kept them around longer. Disappointed in that decision. This week my top picks are Bryden, Brooks, and Juan Pablo. Ben & Brandon are now questionable. What are your thoughts? Anyone else feel as irritable about it as I did?


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