Why a Woman Goes Sour

Men don’t understand women. Women seem complicated. Well guess what? They are complicated. We wish men only knew how much. If only they could be in our shoes for a week – they’d finally understand why we are so overwhelmed. We are not only ruled by our hearts, hormones and emotions, but also our endless stream of thoughts. Men, do you know why we never believe you when you say you aren’t thinking about anything? It is because women are never NOT thinking something. We’re always thinking about 3-7 things at the same time. Not because we want to, because we have to. We are built that way apparently. We can have multiple things on our mind, like a stovetop with front burners and back burners, but never empty. We cannot turn it off (except with excessive alcohol to numb the mind, which is probably how you got us to begin with).

 Woman is a world of difference from girl, lady, or female. I don’t even feel like a female anymore. The sweet girl, the lovely lady were beat out of me years ago. Now I’m a mentally and physically exhausted, mouthy, sarcastic, untrusting. pushy ballbusting bitch. I’m too busy with important things to care about my fingernails or eyeliner or the latest fashions, or being polite to people who piss me off. I’ve never in my life curtsied or been kissed on the back of my hand. Men hold the door open for me or kill spiders for me even less often than my bra & panties match, which is rare. And much to his despair I do not spend all my time thinking of ways to make my husband happy. No, none of that is me. I am not saying I wouldn’t like to be those things – its just not in me right now.

 No, I am an educated, urban woman in 2013 which means I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have to put my children first and try my hardest to raise them into decent human beings that will not one day shoot up their school. But I also have to earn money and work my ass off in the corporate world to make 77% of what my male counterpart makes. And yet it will be he who gets the promotion over me despite the fact that he is all bullshit talk and I am the brain and the follow through, because they assume that me being a mom means I don’t want to travel. (Have you met my family? Please, send me away.) I work 40 hours a week outside the home and then am still expected to do all the housework (because my husband is too lazy and in 12 years of marriage I still have not figured out a successful way to motivate him), as well as half of the cooking and meal preparations. I am the social committee responsible for family events, play date coordination and even all communication with HIS parents. If the kids don’t have clean pants for school, it is my fault I didn’t get the laundry done. If they forgot to study their spelling words, it is my fault because I didn’t remember to make them. If the kids haven’t showered in a week it would only be because I didn’t start their water and make them do it. And after I’ve read each of the boys a chapter and put them to bed, do the dinner dishes, feed the cat, etc I am then expected to suddenly feel sensual and sexual and service my man? How can I when I smell like a sweaty combo of taco meat and dishwater? When all I want to do is either read a book, take a bath, sleep or watch my favorite TV show. Have a little escape from my own reality. Sure he has enough energy for sex, he’s been laying there watching American Chopper all night. Do you see why women are resentful? Do you see why we go crazy and are no longer fun? Getting married and having a family takes every ounce of energy and every ounce of tender love, enthusiasm, and sweetness out of us. That’s why the twenty-year-olds seem more appealing to you men than the thirty-somethings – you haven’t ruined them yet.

 How do I feel as a woman or a wife? I feel bitter, harsh, naggy, and under appreciated. Am I a good wife to my husband? Emotionally, No! I know this and am helpless to change it because my responsibilities and workload as a mother, worker, and director of everything takes everything I have. I have no energy, nor desire, to try to change myself to be better to HIM. The same HIM that puts me in this position by not sharing a fair load of house duties, by not being sensitive and understanding, by never taking care of me. I am taking care of everyone all the time.

Oh, and on top of my family duties to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, it is also up to me to help make the world a better place: recycle, save the polar bears & rain forests, donate to the poor, fight pedophiles, raise money for cancer research – the list never ends. No pressure at all, right? 

So do I feel honored to be a woman? Not really. Only the honor of creating life, having and loving children with all my heart. The rest of life is so much more difficult for us than for men. They are the lucky ones that have us to do everything for them. I’d say maybe its only my lazy husband, but 75% of my friends have the same problem (or had the same problem before their divorce). So now you know  why we are overwhelmed harpies who just might stab you the next time you say “What you making me for breakfast woman?” Please save a woman from going bitter, thank your mother/sister/wife/daughter today (and give her a shoulder massage).

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