The Bachelor Ep 3: Lip-Locks, Rollercoasters & Concussions

Welcome back to The Bachelor Season 17, episode 3, where your BMI (Body Mass Index) is more important than you Emotional Intelligence. After an incident with my DVR, I later had to check out this week’s episode on Hulu and wasn’t able to pay as close attention as I normally do. So I might have missed some things. Just a few comments:  (contains spoilers)

1.      First Individual Date – Leslie M.  They had good chemistry when they kissed on last week’s group date, which is why I think he picked her for this date: to break the Guinness World Record for longest on-air kiss. I hope she rinsed with Scope before she left the house. The other girls are going to be so jealous when they see this. The two have to lip lock for more than 3 minutes 15 seconds. Which I think sounds like a piece of cake. I could totally kiss someone that long; until I found out that their lips cannot separate at all. Yikes! So no head turning lip sucking, tongue thrashing soap opera kisses, just plain old lip to lip then don’t move while a crowd of people cheered them on? That would make it so hard not to laugh. But they managed and broke the record. If he marries her it will be a cute story to tell their kids. If he marries someone else on the show… awkward.

2.      Twelve girls on the group date, which was beach volleyball. Athletics, bikinis & competition – that is my worst nightmare; all that’s missing are snakes. Seriously is there a weight restriction on this show? If you are above a size 6 and don’t have a bikini-ready-body you’re denied? I mean sure that is what a hot guy like Sean would prefer – model bodies – but in real life if he was just meeting people at work or a friend’s house or whatever, he might find himself attracted to a fun, smart size 10 with a great smile. It could happen. But never on this show.

3.      Something you should never say to someone on your 2nd conversation: “If we were to get married…”

4.      Oh Kacie, Kacie, Kacie. Cute as a button, sweet as can be, but bad bad decision to try to manipulate the other girls’ arguing to your own benefit. Especially when nothing really happened. Tension does not a catastrophe make. If you’re not directly involved in the fighting, stay out of the fighting. Guys do not want to hear about that girl drama shit. And the way she brought it up didn’t even really involve him; she wasn’t saying ‘this girl isn’t here for the right reasons watch out’. Maybe because they were friends from before the show she felt more comfortable approaching him with topics that other girls wouldn’t. But Tsk, Tsk. Knew at that point that move was sending her home. His face and his tone said it all.

5.      Second Individual Date – Ashley. Of course Tierra stole her day from the moment she ruined the reading of the date card to “falling” down the stairs stealing Sean’s attention and delaying his date. (By the way, we never actually saw her fall down the stairs, just heard noise then saw her laying there. Even I used to fake throw myself down the stairs when I was 14 to try to freak my parents out.) I liked the concept behind their date: having a Six-Flags Amusement Park to themselves, and sharing it with two girls from a make-a-wish type foundation. Could you imagine though if you drove all the way from Kansas or somewhere with screaming kids in the back seat to go to Six-Flags and it’s closed for the freaking Bachelor? Ugh, Griswold all over again. Anyway, I think Ashley did really well with the surprise of having two teenage girls on their date. If it was me I would have been a little disappointed at first about not being alone on the first date, but then gotten into it. So I was glad they got more intimate conversation time toward the end. At first I didn’t see Ashley making it all the way, maybe like #6, but Sean seemed impressed and she is a total sweetheart so I guess we’ll see. Or will she get the ‘too-nice’ or ‘too-serious’ title?

6.      Tierra: “I wasn’t finished with him.” Rarr. Hiss.

7.      I’m disappointed Jackie hasn’t gotten any face time. I want to see more of her.

8.      If I was the Bachelorette (which of course I could never be) I wouldn’t allow people to interrupt my 3 minute long conversations. I’d be like you each get ten minutes with no interruptions. I will come get you when it’s your turn. Till then sit down, play your Xbox, and don’t be rude. Then they’d be like damn she is a bossy bitch and the insecure ones would leave.

9.      Rose ceremony – he sent home the model Kristie (Yes!!), Kacie, and Taryn. He still has a couple girls that we haven’t seen a thing on yet. Come on editors, share the love.

So what did you think? Any guesses as to who will end up in top 3? I’m guessing Desiree, Leslie M, and maybe Sarah…. not sure yet.

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