Bachelor 17 Begins – Shirtless Sean On A Rose Marathon

The Bachelor Season 17: Sean Lowe – Episode 1

Season 17 brings Emily’s #3 hottie nice guy and fan favorite Sean Lowe back to us. A couple of thoughts to start off the season. First of all, seventeen seasons! Really? We are still getting caught up in these fake romances and bull crap drama after ten years and 88% fail rate?  Well even intelligent women can’t pass up a good train wreck, present company included obviously. Secondly, can I just say how disappointed I am in the final outcome of Emily & Jef’s engagement, which ended after only a couple of months. I kept telling her to pick Arie. But oh no, she didn’t listen. Would her and Arie still be together? We’ll never know. Why did Emily & Jef break up anyway? I’m guessing either it was because his huge mormon family weirded her out (which she should have known ahead of time) or perhaps Emily is just not good at relationships. This is the 2nd Bachelor Franchise engagement of hers that has ended. I feel bad saying that because I do like her, but hey, we all have our issues. Maybe she’s not as perfect as she appears. No one is.

Moving on to tonight’s season premiere. I don’t give a play by play summary of the show, there are a million blogs out there that do a better job at that. I only give my smart ass comments and opinion of the show because… well that is all I am good at. The intro scenes of the Bachelor preparing for his journey have become cheesy and gratuitous. Close ups of the man doing bicep curls; come on! It almost embarrasses me that I enjoy that. Plus it contradicts his image as the most sincere bachelor ever to be flaunting his stuff. But I will say no one could possibly ever look as good in that bright green color as Sean did when he was wearing that green T-shirt on the beach. One segment you know I enjoyed was when fellow Emily-dumpee Arie dropped by for some guy talk and last-minute advice. Only guys could compete for the same woman and be friends afterwards. Women could never do that. We’d scratch each other’s eyes out. Arie! Ah! I don’t know why I like him so much, I just do. It’s totally cute how Arie has Sean practice break up lines and gives him crap, even a kissing lesson. He could give me a kissing lesson anytime, complete with hands on lab. Sean says, “He had a lot of good advice for me. I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to use any of it.”

The show plays some clips on some of the women we are about to meet and my first impression from those is that Desiree will be my favorite. Tierra is cute but I am not sure if I am going to like her personality. Sarah, beautiful blonde from California = I will admit my first impression when she first started talking was that she was one of those attention stealing gorgeous blondes that was going on the show to get famous, then a couple of seconds into it she starts sounding nicer, then the story comes out that she was born with only one arm and for whatever shallow reasons she goes from bitch to “totally love her” in 2.5 seconds. Leslie M. from DC but originally Arkansas has no trace of a Southern accent. Kristy the model = can you say Courtney part 2. There’s Ashlee F. who was adopted = I really like her tender heart (and her dress). Robyn=too dorky. Ashley P. = Ugh Pah-lease! She’s going to drive me crazy. Then its time for Sean to meet the women in person and my most dreaded part of every season: the embarrassing first introductions where contestants do stupid shit to try to make themselves stand out. Which is where at least half a dozen will make complete asses of themselves. As Sean is standing there in front of the mansion waiting for the first Limo door to open he closes his eyes for a minute and you can practically hear his prayer “Please God, don’t let them be freaks.”

Jackie seemed sweet, Selma was beautiful, Tayrn is promising, Catherine is gorgeous, Paige will be gone asap, Ashley H.’s face doesn’t move, Lindsay is desperate. Did you see Sean’s face when he saw Kelly? I swear his face lit up! I think he likes her and they would look cute together. I wasn’t sure before about Tierra but Sean is right that she did have a great energy and I thought it was great he went and got a rose for her immediately. I mean talk about first impression rose, there it is, first one minute you meet. They should all do that. I love rule breakers! Then surprise, Kacie B. my favorite from Ben’s season is back. Yay! So here’s my favorites list from first impressions only: Desiree, Tierra, Kacie B. And then after we see more during the reception I add Jackie, Kelly & Sarah.

Dumb question: Do these girls learn nothing watching this show? DO NOT get trashed on the first night. Drunk girls are not getting the rose. Kacie is always so sweet, “She just needs a lot of water.” And Ashley P. is proving to be the obnoxious character I predicted. It is never a good sign when a man has to threaten to use a rape whistle. The 50 Shades of Grey fanatic was definitely 50 Shades of Drunk, and no surprise, goes home (after a lovely stripper dance or two). So since I love when the Bachelor/Bachelorette changes the rules as they go, I did like that Sean handed out roses as he went throughout the night whenever he was ‘feeling it’. There were a couple of girls that got roses that I thought wouldn’t. Especially drunk wedding gown girl Lindsay who was obviously the producers pick. But the biggest shocker to me was that Kelly, who I thought Sean had instant attraction to, did not get a rose. WTH? What did we miss? And was it just my TV or did she have one blue eye and one brown eye? She was gorgeous! The song she sang him was not embarrassing or horrible, it was pretty cute. She had a great smile. What gives? I know I only “knew” her for one show, but I nominate her to be the next Bachelorette.

The season previews foreshadow that Tierra might be fake and is there a possible cat fight?  It is sure to be another season full of drama, tears and twists. Not sure our crap-o-meters can handle it again but we’ll give it our best try.

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