Bachelorette Ep.7: “Let’s Czech out Prague”

Episode 7 brings us to Prague, Czech Republic. The nerves start to set in one week before home-town dates. Everyone wants to take Emily home to meet their family. And since Emily didn’t send either Doug or John home in last week’s ceremony, she’ll have to send two home this week.

Date 1: Arie. I think everyone can tell by now that Arie and Emily have some chemistry. They seem most like a couple of everyone. This could mean he’s a shoe-end…dun dun dun…not necessarily. Emily keeps hinting to Arie throughout their date that she wants him to be completely open and honest. He is oblivious that she knows that he once dated a female producer from the show and he is not bringing it up no matter how much she hints. Host Chris Harrison interrupts the regular format of the show a couple times to introduce, in an awkward fashion that disrupts the flow of the show, that Producer Cassie Lambert and Arie had a very brief relationship over ten years ago. Clips of Cassie interviewing Emily about it, reveal that even Cassie doesn’t think its that big of a deal. But Emily is stewing, thinking he is hiding something. Maybe he really was never that into Cassie. Maybe it was so brief or non-monumental in his life that he doesn’t even consider her part of his past. Maybe he’s had so many one-night stands he can’t even place where he’s seen her before. Who knows. But VERY BRIEF and OVER TEN YEARS AGO are key terms, and the fact that Arie had a much more serious relationship where he lived with a gal and her kids more recently probably overshadows anything before that. Chris Harrison breaks in again saying the three of them (Emily, Cassie, Arie) had a conversation off camera about it and worked it all out. HELLO? WHAT? You film everything. How could that have been off-camera. You live to show us the drama. Why on Earth would the show NOT show that part. LAME!
Anyhow, turns out Arie just didn’t even think about it. I bet that makes Cassie feel real special. Glad they worked it out, but still feeling weird over the odd editing. Maybe they didn’t show it because sweet Southern Emily went hog-ass-crazy thowing furniture and shit and then she made them cut it out. LOL just kidding. That would be funny though.

Chris whines, whines, whines. Wa, wa, wa…poor me…
At this point I think that three of the final four are: Sean, Arie, Jef ——– but who is the 4th? Will it be Chris, Doug or John?

Date #2 – John. Absolutely no sparks. I think he’s just way too late in the game. He was invisible for far too long and cannot compete now with the other stronger relationships she’s built. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think any dinner dates that ever took place in a dungeon, jail cell, or scary basement have ever gone well – could be a good research project for a Bachelor-Nerd (at least one that has more time on their hands than I do). John later tells the guys their date went perfectly and he hit it out of the park. That must be one small park buddy, because I didn’t get that impression at all. John is totally over-confident, pushing Chris over the edge into despair.

Group Date – Hide-n-Go-Seek in a Castle. That could be totally fun. However, didn’t look so fun with this bunch: Doug, Sean and Chris. Chris is too busy feeling sorry for himself, getting his panties in a wad that he didn’t get a one-on-one date. Doug, is so clueless in his approach its almost funny. Hey, I liked Doug, he was my fave the first two weeks, he’s hot! But the man cannot carry on an easy conversation with Emily, he’s shy and awkward, and is always giving up his opportunities to the others. They’ve all been hanging out for almost two months now right, and he still hasn’t kissed her. Emily even comments to him on his body language while they were sitting and talking and she was totally right. He sat with his arms crossed instead of touching her at all and every time she has ever touched him he stops conversation to comment on it. It’s weird. Like he has a no personal contact policy or something. He gets a panicked look on his face like some rule has been broken. He seems very shy and very afraid and I feel bad for him. But she was right, things can’t progress like that and he had to go. Sad Doug rides off in a van. Sorry Dougie. You gotta be more open man.

Ok, remember in weeks 1 & 2 when I didn’t like Chris and had no idea what she saw in him, then I did start to like him? Well, now I don’t like him again. He’s being totally insecure and annoying and getting a major bad attitude. “Mister I’m Mature For 26” is acting like a spoiled baby not getting his way and his temper is coming out. Not attractive.

Date #4 – Jef. Jef is so unique he’s gotta spell his name with only one ‘f’. He is fun, easy going and is going to be a great Dad for her daughter Rikki. The Marionette Play might have gone on a bit long, or perhaps I’m just creeped out by wooden puppets, but Emily and Jef were so cute together and it seems like they’d be able to have fun together easily and comfortably no matter what they were doing. Jef seems like the safe pick, but let’s face it, no one hardly ever picks the safe-pick. He’s so sweet, I just think he’s going to get hurt. At this point I can see final two being Arie and Jef, her choosing Arie, and Jef being heart broken. But I could be wrong.

Emily expresses concern over parents liking her? What parent wouldn’t like her? Um, she’s super nice, super pretty, conducts herself polite and proper. I cannot picture her bouncing down in the dad’s barker lounger, swinging her leg over the side, letting out a giant belch and scratching herself. I don’t think she has anything to worry about. I’d be more worried about what the hell Jef meant when he said his parents wouldn’t be there because they have a 2 year commitment. Hu? Are they on a mission building a church in South America, or are they in prison?

By Reception time Emily has already made up her mind and skips the Rose Ceremony. We can tell its going to be John or Chris going home. Chris is WIGGING OUT, doing this nervous bounce thing, seeming like his head is going to explode. Dude, take a chill pill, you’re freaking her out. Although, I had a feeling Emily would have kept him anyway, even if he didn’t pull her aside and pretty much beg for it. She had nothing with John, and lets him go.

Did I miss anything? Oh yes, Sean running through the city calling Emily’s name and ‘miraculously’ finds her (anyone else notice how there is not another single soul out in the streets? What is it 3 in the morning or something?). My husband, who never watches these shows with me because he can’t keep his smart-ass comments to himself, says at this point, “Don’t all the cameramen know where the other cameramen are? Wouldn’t he just radio the other guy and say, this dude is coming after her, what’s your location?” And, what we probably don’t see is that is probably exactly what happens. …Anyway, Sean sneaks her off to a private spontaneous date to a pub then they make out in the alley. It was a much better date than the earlier part of her day with John, but still didn’t look quite as hot as when Arie had her up against the wall last week. Gosh, I really have this Alley Wall fetish don’t I?! Who knew?!

So who do you think is going to have the weirdest or harshest families next week? Good luck to all.

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