Bachelorette Episode 5: “Thou Dost Suck”

I love this season with Emily Maynard. I think she is great. When she finds out a guy isn’t there for the right reasons does she run off crying? No, she tells him to get the Eff out. Way to go Emily! I think she handled herself well, although, I wouldn’t mind seeing her go “West Virginia Hood-Rat Backwoods on his ass” as she put it. I’m guessing it’s a little similar to ‘Idaho Trailer-Trash Bat-Shit Crazy’. But true to form, Emily was both strait forward and classy. Yes, even a bleeped out F-word sounds classier coming from her. I loved when she told Kalon, “I’d love to hear what you have to say but after I’m done. I got that line from you,” Haha, you tell him sister. Send his condescending ass back home for his rich momma to smack around.

But I’m getting ahead of myself… let’s back up…thoughts on the show…

Date 1: Sean. The date went well and Sean is looking better and better each day. However, I didn’t feel like we learned anything new about Sean from their date clips, except that he’d be ok with having however many kids Emily wants. I hope Emily got more info out of him than we did and it just wasn’t aired. Sean scored big points with me when he offered to carry Emily’s bag. She said he was the best marriage material there and I have to agree. (which is why I still think he might be LDS, because those are the only men in America that ever want to get married.)

Group Date: Shakespeare in the Park. Thoughts:
1. I love Arie!! I am certain he is my favorite one and if Emily and I switched places I would chose him. And he hates acting and was totally shy & embarrassed about it. Proof that he is there for the right reasons and not to become a TV personality.
2. Travis – does he seem gay to anyone else? (not that there’s anything wrong with that) He was really eager to do Shakespeare, has that lispy kind of feminine voice, and says “Emily got two kisses. Shakespeare wouldn’t like it…” He cracks me up, he could be my new buddy, but I wouldn’t be picking him to shack up with.
3. Emily had a sore throat, yet she kissed 4-5 guys over the course of the show. By next week they should all have sore throats right?
4. One thing that did bother me last night was how Emily kept going off on how no one stood up for her on the Kalon situation and how they should have told her sooner. Ok, Doug found out that night, instantly called Kalon on it, pretty much told Kalon he’s a dick, then instantly told Emily, and helped Emily confronted Kalon about it in front of the entire group. What part of that is ‘not standing up for her or telling her’. HELLO! What is Doug, chopped liver? I felt she didn’t give him enough credit on that. I guess she has the right to be irritated at the others for sitting on the news a whole day, but Doug did exactly what she was wanting – he said something, he had her back – and I never once heard her acknowledge that. Poor Dougie.

Date 3: Jeff. I’m kind of torn on Jeff. I like him. He seems really sweet. But he is too reserved. I think he is intimidated by Emily, or perhaps the competition factor. Emily describes him as “so chill” – so true, and that could be a good thing in some ways. I couldn’t really see them together until they finally kissed last night. Surprisingly, they seemed to have some sparks. It will be interesting to see what happens.

Most seasons the girl has an obvious 2-3 favorites you know will be there until the end. But I believe Emily has talked about having strong feelings for multiple guys: Chris, Arie, Jeff, Sean, Ryan…… which leads me to WHAT THE HELL EMILY? How can you start liking Ryan now? He is such an utter douche-bag he makes my skin crawl. He will be the kind of husband that expects you to do everything he tells you to, including to think what he thinks, not for yourself, and will act like he owns you. Plus last week he showed his true colors with talk of becoming the next Bachelor. Wish she could have seen that. Plus she looked like she wanted to throw-up a little in her mouth when he kissed her for the play. Hopefully she’ll keep her distance and remember what she’s already said about this manipulative ways.

Reception/Rose Ceremony: Emily’s Royal Blue gown is my favorite to date. Gorgeous! Sean & Jeff both already have roses. The remaining roses go to:
Ryan (don’t fall for it Em!)
Arie (who looked like he was about to cry as he waited, it broke my heart. I was actually getting worried for a minute)

Alejandro goes home. Who? Exactly. Poor guy didn’t get more than 3 words on camera.

My top five have changed a bit now: Arie, Sean, Doug, Jeff & Chris. In that order.

What about you? Have you changed your mind on anyone yet?
Watching next week’s previews, Who do you think the competitive player just trying to win the game is? I mean we know Ryan is that way for sure, but does it come out that it is Ryan, or is it someone else that we might not expect as much? Previews looked like it could have possibly been Chris or John?


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